Home Sweet Home. Somewhere.

Happy New Year. I guess.

December was a whirlwind. DId a two day trip home to NYC (from Hong Kong) - landed, went home to see mom and get some homecooking, then checked into a hotel, stared at my laptop memorizing work stuff, sat through meetings, then was back on a plane headed back to Hong Kong before I even got the plane smell off me from the flight in. I highly recommend this sort of trip if you like feeling like shit. If you enjoy waking up in the middle of the night in a hotel that smells like citrus-ish tile cleaner and fig newtons, having no idea where you are... or if you take pleasure in having a 30 minute conversation with someone  in the middle of the day about something "very important" (pretty much the reason why you flew there in the first place) and not retaining a single word that got exchanged, definitely do a 2 day trip, flying 16 hours in each direction. You will feel like the champion of confused assholes.


i find airports and hotels very relaxing to poo in.


the windows wrap all the way around in an L shape of one half of the room. the bottom half of the windows were "frosted" which is not only cool but also extremely practical because i could walk around the room completely naked from the waist down and as long as i had a tee shirt on, no one out there would suspect a thing. this came in handy because, you know how when you travel, you tend to just not wear pants or underwear? this was good for that.


i tried to stop drinking and i stopped being drunk... fuck that, too.

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If you're totally NOT into feeling like shit, I recommend a weekend trip to Singapore. very soothing. and relaxing. and a great place to shut the brain off (and if you're from Hong Kong, you can remind yourself of what air is supposed to smell like: absolutely nothing). I love Singapore. I don't care how "boring" most people from Hong Kong say it is. I guess to each his/her own. your trash, my treasure. your boring, my relaxing. you say "tomato" (with a long "a"), i say "fucking tomato" (also with a long "a"). I made a couple of trips down to Singapore before heading up to Beijing and I actually take everything i just said above back ("your trash, my treasure, etc") - I take all the diplomatic shit back, if you think Singapore is boring, you're wrong. I'm right, you're wrong. It's perfectly fine for you to maintain your opinion. just know that it's wrong.

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Then came the cold. Fuck yeah. Beijing for one week. I love the cold. Christmas is supposed to be cold. got to be negative 8 celsius one day and i couldn't have been happier. a little pain in the ears and numbness in the toes keeps your mind sharp, dammit.




here is a Ninja cutting my duck with a ninja sword. I know, I know, Ninjas are from Japan, not China... but this was one of those special chinese duck cutting Ninjas. so maybe you should shut up and not judge me for having more knowledge  about Ninjas than you.



Beijing for a week... Great Wall? Forbidden City? Tiananmen Square? Nah. Here's me showing my American grace and charm at Hooters in Beijing. And why am I at Hooters in Beijing making these hand gestures, you ask? Because i'm fucking classy. And because Hooters saved my life, once...