People I Hate, People I Love

i really hate this guy. primarily for the obvious reason - because he's standing there naked holding some sort of "beach ping pong" paddle.  but beyond the obvious, i hate this dude because he probably walks up to drum circles on college campuses and gets to feel up that really hot chick from a small town who doesn't know she's hot yet. he flashes his moleskin notebook that is filled with sexual haiku and screenplay ideas and before you know it, the two of them are off on some beach, naked, playing some weird outdoor-sand version of ping-pong.


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this guy, on the other hand, might be the messiah. why does this guy rule? hello?!?! why DOESN'T this guy rule? you can't answer that. those are SOCKS on his hands. if you stopped this guy and asked him why he's running half naked in the snow, he'd lean in real close to you and whisper, "to stay cool, man. to stay cool" and then just keep running. i'll bet you a gazillion dollars that this dude could recite every lyric from Ice Cube's "Amerikkka's Most Wanted" album as well as prove that Smurfs actually exist. Wanna bet?