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• Memoirs of an athletia

  2007-09-14 7:13AM / 標準BLOG / 會員可以看
  4個評論

  This past Monday morning I had a slight incident involving a sword, a chunk of my flesh, a needle and thread and a lot of disinfectant. Correspondingly I sat aside during afternoon practice with my laptop and decided to write up another glorious entry in the chronicles of the Iranian wushu team experience.

  In this entry I want to give a quick glossary of the other members of my team. The following descrīptions are very simplified and do no justice to the rich characters that are my teammates.

  The Coach:

  Coach Mu Ning is beyond a doubt one of the most professional and caring coaches I have had in my Wushu Career. He pushes the team very strongly to excel and even though he is not native Iranian, he pushes the team such that his passion for us to succeed rivals our own. His mastery of all the Wushu styles we practice as well as his teaching techniques is without a doubt complete and of the highest modern Chinese standards. His sense of humor is strong and well timed. He knows his own students well and organizes his training appropriately. Mad props out to the Mu clan. Lets just hope he recognizes my genius and chooses me for the final draft.

  The Roommates:

  Ehsan AKA Epsilon: This lil brother of mine is one of my favorite guys on the team. He is 19 years from Mashhad. He studied film in high school and will begin college this coming year. He practices ChangQuan, Dao and Gun. He is very enthusiastic about film and the art of cinema, which only adds to my love for him. He loves to debate all manner of political, cultural and religious subjects. As intelligent as this lil man is, he tends to get picked on by the coach a lot because of his simple nature and slight physical ditsyness.

  Ali AKA IQ: My other Mashhady brother on the team and also my partner in crime when it comes to laughing for no apparent reason.  He is 19 years old and is in the process of graduating high school. He is our team Taiji man. He is also a direct descendent of Genkis Khan of Mongolia hence many people mistake him for a very tall Chinese. God has blessed this man with the art of asking intelligent questions at appropriate times, hence the sarcastic nickname; however he has also been blessed with a simple sense of humor that makes you love him.

  Farshad AKA Gas Man: Our resident NanQuan expert and sex enthusiast. He is 19 years old and will begin College this coming year. Aside from a great sense of humor, this man has blessed, or should I say we have been cursed, by an overactive libido and gastro intestinal system as well as a non harmful aggressive nature that brings me to tears laughing on a daily basis. His interests are… wushu and women, more so the latter.

  The other room:

  Hesam AKA Finch: Our 17 year old ex gymnast Don Juan from Shahre Kord. Our other ChangQuan, Dao Gun specialist, He is still in high school, and do to his age and small stature he has earned the nickname of the Finch. One of the funest lil guys to tickle you will ever meet. He is a very hard working athlete with a bright future. He loves to spend a long time in front of the mirror blow drying and applying gel to his dwindling supply of hair so that he can drop the mad mack on any lady in site.

  Mohammad AKA Lover boy: Our 19 year old married Tabrizy Turkish Jian Chang specialist. He studies Physical education in Tabriz University. Aside from jokingly complaining about things in a very funny manner, this Leonardo DiCaprio lookalike pretty much spends the rest of his time listening to love songs and talking to his wife on the phone.

  Massoud AKA … : This 20 year old NanQuan boy from Esfahan has made me laugh like a madman more than once do to his sarcastic humor and a masterful dance that would put John Travolta and Urkle to shame. He mainly keeps to himself when not dancing or making fun of someone with his rhythmic Esfehany accent.

  The Sparring Set Group:

   Navid AKA Jet Li: Hands down one of the funniest Douches I have encountered in my time. This 23 year old acrobat from Esfahan is the fly boy of the Dulian crew and he is also a source of happiness and humor for the entire team. He graduated in architecture from the University of Esfahan. He is one of my close compadres and shares a western taste in music.

  Ebrahim AKA Chang Lu: Picture 6 foot Italian sexual molester, now give him a pair of steel balls and an aggressive Iranian sense of humor… voi la! You’ve got Ebrahim. This balding 24 year old looks more like he’s 30, but given his kindness and child molesting behavīor, we have all come to love this man.

  Mohsen AKA King Kong: The eldest of our team, 28 years old, the strength (and looks) of a Gorilla, the temper of a 13 year old and the kindness and wisdom of a 40 year old. This man of many ages has been in the Iranian wushu scene for a long time and knows most of the past generations. We share a slight maniacal sense of excitement and child play from time to time, which makes me love the man.   

  That is all for now folks. Hope things are going well in your neighborhood.

  Cheers