Sister in Tianjin IV: Chinese Hospitals

I know its all kind of late to get the travelogues not that I'm back but I figured I would go ahead and complete them for posterity sake.  lol.  Now where did I leave off.....Oh yeah!  Emperor Chen is going to hell. 

So I had a good time in Beijing , but I was actually having a little problem when I was there.  Actually, it was a big and annoying problem.  Right before the trip, I had developed some sort of rash on my hands and feet.  No where else, just those two places.  Although it was starting to really drive me crazy, my body was not bothered too much during Beijing - mostly because I had to direct all my energies to climbing that ridiculous wall.  It was either gasp for breath and cling to dear life or itch.  Needless to say, my body prioritized itself.

By the end of the weekend though, I was about to go crazy.  I stopped to get some over-the-counter ointment, but I still thought it best to see a doctor.  I have learned that you get what you pay for, wherever you are in the world.  More to the point, if you value your life, you wont go to any hospital that doesn’t make you pay out the nose.  I hate to say it but it’s true.  Money buys the best medical care wherever you are in the world.  Knowing that is enough to really make you mad, but its the truth.

At any rate, off I go on the Monday after Beijing with the program coordinator to visit the dermatologist.  We walk into what is considered in China to be a private hospital, but which to my mind had the looks of a basic health clinic back in the States.   We followed the directory information and headed to the second floor for the dermatologist.  After sitting in the hallway for a short time we entered a small room that fit only two small desks facing the hallway and two chairs assigned to each desk.  It looked more like a raggedy office than a hospital room.  No room for anything else – just the desks and chairs.  I along with the Coordinator headed to the second desk where a woman in a white uniform sat.  It’s not clear whether she was a nurse or a medical doctor, but she was apparently the person to whom you go for your evaluation.

As I walked to the seat to sit down, she took a quick glance at my hands and shouted in Mandarin “HEAT RASH” so sharply, I had to jump back and clutch my pearls.  It reminded me of that skit from In Living Color in the diner, where the cook just randomly screams “pick up!”

Now I’m thinking, this chick must have turrets.  How you gonna give a medical diagnosis before I put my butt down on the seat?  The coordinator translated her medical opinion to me, and I quickly told him that’s not it.  I proceed to sit down and take off my shoes so that she can get a closer look at the rash on my feet and hands.  She took a more detailed, longer look this time – which lasted all of 45 seconds.  And then she said in Mandarin, “HEAT RASH.”

Now I don’t know who this chick is, but she is fast reaching the status in my mind of witch-doctor.   So I ask the translator to explain that I NEVER get heat rashes, and that it’s probably an allergic reaction to something.  I’m not sure if that requires some anti-biotic or just an ointment, but I am very clear that it’s not a heat rash.  

By now the witch doctor is starting to fill out the paperwork as the coordinator translates and she basically waves her hand and says again that it’s a heat rash.  OK, now I’m pissed off. 

A heat rash?  A heat rash.  I lived in NC most of my life where the average summer temperature hangs between 90 and 100.  I moved from there to a place that calls itself HotLanta.  I sleep with 5 blankets on in the winter, and one blanket in the summer.  A heat rash?  B@#$$ please, I have to get ten inches from the sun before I'll break out with a heat rash.  This was NOT a heat rash.  Besides, who gets a heat rash on their hands?  

So of course, the group coordinator explained in Mandarin that the heat rash assessment could not be correct because I once had a rash akin to the one I got in China and it was actually an allergic reaction.  I got it during the month of December in Lewiston .   Lewiston , Maine .  Uh, so it cant be a heat rash ---chick. 

So then she says, it’s a heat rash and if I didn’t like her medical opinion I could get another medical person to look at it.  

Ok, this is where I have to say that I believe medical personnel are the same around the world.  None of those dummies listen to you or give you credit for knowing your own body.  But beyond that, don’t ever tell me to get somebody else to give a medical opinion as if that is some kind of threat.   Because you know what my response is gonna be?   

BYE!

NEEEEEXT!

I could feel myself about to go off.  And I didn’t care if it was in English, because a nasty tone and fingers in your face can be just as efficient as understanding what I’m saying.  But then, I looked at the coordinator who was looking exasperated and non-plussed and decided not to put on a performance.  

So I simply took the witch doctor’s diagnosis and went downstairs to the hospital pharmacy.  For all of $12, I received medical advice, Chinese medication, and western medication.  I should have known I was going to get some ridiculous diagnosis.  (BTW, there was a student who had to go to the hospital and she went to where the communist party members go.  Needless to say, she had to give over $10,000 RMB -$1500 USD- before they would even set aside a bed!)

I just used the Chinese medicine and kept using the over-the-counter stuff.  I figured the herbal Chinese meds couldn’t hurt.  Besides, the over-the-counter ointment had already started to work anyway.  In fact, I don’t know what was in that medication, but it was some powerful stuff.  I mean peal your skin off powerful.  (I’m not joking – my skin is still pealing in some parts all of 4 weeks later!)  Oh well, I guess if you skin is busy melting off you dont have to worry about it itching anymore.  Although my toes probably gonna fall off.

Sorry ya'll no pictures this time.  I was too perturbed with my diagnosis to think to take photos.  Next travel-logue.  Off to Qingdao

Fu Shan Ni