Not Quite

Had a little chat with an old friend (M) this afternoon, over msn.

She’s one of the few that’s been supportive of my acting right from the start. I guess its probably because she’s one of the rare few that truly understands this passion that drives me.

I fill her in briefly on what I have been up to this year, and was surprised to hear (or read) her say that she’s really proud of me.

Proud? What’s there to be proud of, I asked her. It’s not as if I’ve made it. In fact, I feel like a failure, I told her. (At this point, I can feel myself welling with emotion)

She says she’s proud because I have the courage to do what most people will not have the courage to do. And that the results did not matter more than the journey.

But her words failed to comfort me. I’m a man without dreams, I told her.

Find new dreams, she said.

I told her my new dreams would most likely be mundane, material and secular ones.

She didn’t buy it. You’re much more than these, she said.

Sigh. You just can’t fool an old friend.

“The hopes I have, are much too high;
Way out of reach but I have to try.”

Hopefully, I won’t need to run, I won’t need to hide.

Hopefully, all the answers will come one by one.

And hopefully, this game will never be over, as long as I’m keeping the dream alive.

(Apologies to Munchener Freiheit for paraphrasing the lyrics of their song)