OYSTERCAKES

Today is Columbus Day here in the States.  Let us ponder Columbus Day...

I don't quite understand this "holiday." I'm not sure how they're teaching it these days, but when I was a kid in school, they were still selling that "discovered America" bit. Even as a kid, I remember this being confusing to me. I mean, how can you "discover" a place that's already inhabited? If you roll up on some place and there's already a crew of people kicking it there, already been chillin' out for who knows how long, then you're actually VISITING the place, not DISCOVERING it. No? I mean, really, through the generous perspective of history, we've basically rewarded this guy for being ignorant and making a huge mistake.  The dude thought he was in India, for Pete's sake! Guess what? North America is  super far away from India. How much of a shortcut did he think he found? I wasn't there so I can't say what the actual time differential was, but the amount of time it took to sail from Europe to North America, in order to sail to India in that same time, you'd need to find a  fucking wormhole, not a shortcut.

Columbus Day; so weird.

In honor of Columbus Day, I'm going to go into a restaurant today and order something I've never had before, like, crabcakes (I don't like crab) - then I'm going to mistake the Crabcakes for oysters and claim to have discovered a new way to eat oysters. then hundreds of years from now, I'll probably go down in history as the guy who discovered oysters... or crabcakes. Or something like that.  Awesome.