Relatively Lost, Completely Content

This week, I had the best classes in a long time. The children made me smile and I am grateful that I could make them smile too. They kept asking about my TV shows, family, hobbies, life, even giggling as they trail me to the bus stop!

When the sweet innocent voices ask, it helps me realise aspects about my little life. I'm objective and always happy to reveal facts about my past and present. I figured I usually don't like to discuss much about my (plans or opinions regarding the) present and future because I am aware of how quickly things change. That includes me. On the other hand, if you're super close to me, you'll probably hear some of it and how I can't seem to settle.

I think, in a strange way, my mind is like a pendulum in my brain. It swings over the landscape of my thoughts and feelings, from one extreme to the other quite often, but I'm always aware, and sometimes think I might be watching it instead. No, I think a better way to describe it would be to say I'm right in the middle and can see both ends. So I gradually gravitate towards one end. All the while, I keep the other end in sight so I can tell myself I know what I am doing and where I am going.

But who really knows where they are going? We all probably like to think we know. Or at least we are headed in the direction that we have intentionally chosen. I used to plan and want a certain direction. But the more I travel the more I realise I'm only getting lost. But what is wrong with being lost? We don't have forever to explore the world we live in. And neither do we have forever to learn more about so many different things, some of which we are lucky to simply chance upon.

If you think that everything happens for a reason, then some things we have may be meant for us, while some others may not. If you do not believe in fate or destiny, then a fun ride with lots to see is not a bad thing either. After all, everything is relative and open to intepretaion, which makes life for thinking homosapiens so unpredictable, diverse, exciting.

Personally, I don't believe we need to finish, perfect or accomplish anything in particular. We will forever be a work in progress, which is wonderful and flawless in itself. How boring life would be otherwise. And that may also be why we have each other, to achieve a sense of completion. Perhaps you're lost till someone special finds you. Nobody is perfect except for each other.

Perhaps, even with my map, I am lost, yes, but I feel safe. And I am content. We cannot always control where we are or what happens to us, but we can control how we feel and react. I choose to look on the bright side.

I need reminding. It is true that I wear rose coloured glasses. I got them 5 years ago for my near-sightedness.