Is not my week...

I had thought very deeply for almost every singles things that I had came across. My examinations are coming real soon, on the 16 October. I can’t remember the dates that I will be having my exams. I wonder is I can’t remember or I choose not to.

When I knew how little time I left, I started to panic. The reason why I’m panicking was because I haven’t started revising yet and in fact people from others schools had actually started their revision months ago!

I remembered last year while I was taking my N-level, it was exactly the same situation as now. Why can’t I learn from my past mistake that I should always prepare my exams earlier and not wait until the last minutes then started to panic?

Like what Mr Lim (my English teacher) said my English is, he really cannot understand. Guess what, I actually spoke Mandarin to him and he will answer me back in English! And he would tell me that practice makes perfect. The reason why I can’t speak and write well in English were because I’m lack of practice and reading.

I envied him as he seemed to be good in everything. He is good in English, Chinese, Humanities and he is multilingual! He can speak or use English, Chinese, Hokkien and Thai! I can’t find any fault in him. He is like…perfect.

Anyway, I am pondering by a few questions I came across this few days. Mr Lau (my Humanities teacher) said something yesterday? Whatever, firstly, I am pondering over Mr Lau words. He said “actually deep inside your heart you should already know whether you will pass your humanities a not. When you receive your result on that day, don’t cries because you did badly you already know you will fail months ago! Why do you want to let yourself regret?”  Secondly, my friend asks me what if I pass my exam and I will be able to get in to a polytechnic, which course I will choose. I don’t even think of going to a polytechnic in addition she still asked me which course I will choose. This made me wonder is it because every students after O level will be either going to Junior College (JC) or Polytechnic (Poly) and you know it is impossible that I can get in to a JC so that means I got to go poly. God! What is this? I don’t seem to be interested in anything, what am I here for? To experience what is to be like a failure? To be so imperfection that I hate myself so much?!

Just leave me alone man!

PS: I’m not okay but you should be glad that you are perfect. Here’s a video to share.

Video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nupdcGwIG-g