綾辻行人 - 最後的記憶

I've just finished reading this book.  綾辻行人 is one of my favourite 日本推理小說作家.  His first novel that I read is 童謠的死亡預言, very complicated plot, and he related the story to old Japanese 童謠, very excited and can't put down the book once you started to read it.

In this book, 最後的記憶, honestly speaking, I am a little bit disappointed.  綾辻行人 group this book as 本格恐怖長篇,  maybe I don't like this kind of book; so I find it a bit bored.  The story is about a professor's Mom is suffering白髮痴呆症, and he's afraid to get the same disease as well; so he's going to find out what happened to his Mom when she's a little girl, and why she's so afraid of lightning and bug's sound.  The professor is quite upset and afraid, so he always wants to disappear :

  ----- 反正消失之後, 過了不久, 大家就會忘記的.

          乾脆讓我自己從這個世界消失算了.

Sometimes when I'm really depressed, I'd think of this as well.  If I disappeared, everyone else can still live well by themselves.  My E will take good care of Amelie, cos he loves her so much.  My Mom can live well by herself, cos she's good at earning money.  Of course, that's no good to think of this; I just feel that human being is so tiny in this world.  If a human being disappeared, other people's lives are still going on.  So why am I being so unhappy?  I try hard everyday to ignore unhappy moment.  I try hard to ignore people I don't like.  Maybe I'm really getting OLD!