Sad - don't read if you want to read sth. happy

Can't sleep, very sad. 

Still trying to enjoy the happy vacation in Japan, but today I've just been notice that my Uncle B has passed away today in HK. 

As I said before he has cancer, but he tried to hide his illness from everyone in the family.  He have just received treatment for 3 months, and he can't stand it.  He fainted today in the elevator, and can't make it when the ambulance came.  He's too weak.  I called him before CNY, and he said he's OK, only can't eat much.  I feel sad that I can't meet him again after I got back to SZ  last Wed.

He said in my Dad's funeral 2 years ago, if he died, don't cry for him, cos he never shed a tear in his whole life.  But I just can't stop crying.  I cried after Amelie and my E have slept; but my E knew that and he woke up and stayed with me until 1pm; then I pretended I wanted to sleep, but now, here I am, can't sleep, can't stop crying.

Maybe it's good for him not going all the painful treatment again.

He's the one who kissed me goodnight when I was a child (not my Dad); he's the one who looked at our report cards and educated us (my brother and I, we lived in my Grandma's home for a few years).  He's so tough and so success in his career, VP of a US bank.  He told my Grandma when he was a child that there're 2 things he must do in his life - (1) drink all kinds of wine; (2) not married in his life; well, he did both.  He's still single, no child, and loved to drink.  he can sit in his backyard alone and enjoyed his wrisky in his LA house.  But his eyes were so lonely the last time I visited him.  I think he has no regret, so many good friends, but I think he must worried of my Grandma.

3 sons in 6 years, have passed away, is that a curse to my Grandma?  2004 was her youngest son, dying of cancer in LA; 2006, my Dad, her eldest son passed away in his sleep during his business trip in Taipei; and now my Uncle B, her 2nd son, her favourite one, died when he stepped out of home today.  My Grandma always said (after her 2 sons passed away), she must have a son and a daughter when she dies; but now, only one daughter left.

My Aunt asked me to write a fax to comfort my Grandma, but I have no idea what can I write?  No word can ease her pain, she always said she's angry of herself.  She's 87 years old now.  I really don't know what  I should write to her.  I read a magazine before that it takes at least 2 years to calm the painful heart if someone you love died.  I just feel better of loosing my Dad, and now is my Uncle.  I don't think 2 years is enough for my Grandma to ease her pain.

I was so silly, I just think of Amelie has no black clothes for the funeral.  She loves pink, so all her clothes are very colourful.

Please, let my uncle rest in peace, and help my Grandma to ease the pain.

I feel much better now after writing all these.  Thank you AnD again, and all my AnD friends.....