United States of Terorist Hating Freedom

Just touched down back stateside a few days ago. I can never come back to NYC without having a goofy experience at the airport - either something with luggage or customs or security or just some random shit. This time, as I was making my way through immigration, there was a middle aged couple kind of standing on line, but kind of not - like, that loitering "I might be standing on line or I might just be lost and standing here" type of kind of standing on line.  So i brushed passed them and went ahead in line at which point, the woman of the couple decided to be "helpful" and yell out to me, "honey, this is the line for US Citizens."

wow. really? Because I thought this was the line where they were handing out rice and nunchucks. Was she fucking serious?

I was tired, cranky, and wanted to say something witty and cutting, something that would make her feel silly, but the only thing that came to mind after a 14 hour flight was "you're going bald, lady" so i just didn't say anything. I just waved my US Passport at her and winked and I think (I hope) that made her feel pretty stupid (and racist). I didn't get too upset because she looked like a tourist from the midwest (she and her husband were wearing the mid-west tourist uniform: cargo pants, fanny packs, running sneakeres, and matching university of somewhere i never heard of sweatshirts)... where she's from, the only Asian people she probably sees are at Chinese restaurants and at the local grocery/convenient store (which, no matter what American city you go to, is bound to be owned by an angry middled aged Korean dude).

by the way - Joanne, I just want you to know that only because I love you dearly, am I going to do my best to update this blog regularly and eventually, will write something that you will disagree with so earnestly that it will hopefully piss you off and upset you so much that you won't be able to sleep  :-)