analyzing my incident

2 days, ago, i was in the midst of a very worrisome situation.

less than 2 days later, as mentioned in my last writing, i m happy again.

Therefore,I'd like to do an aftermath of myself from the incident.

Stress comes from:-

1)unknown factors, with those unknown in front of us, we dont just think about the unknowns,we start imagining and simulate different scenarios, i cornered myself in those created worse than worse scenarios. i become gloomy.

2) preparing myself the point of impact like a comet hitting the earth liked feeling. felt doomed.

3)Afraid of telling the whole truth, therefore, i cornered myself again in the process of difficult sitaution of what to tell and what not to tell. That was really painful.Cos deep down i know i'd i wanted to tell the whole n knowing that's the right tihng to do but dont have the courage and guts to confront, afraid of losing..........not trusting Truth will prevail, rather take matter into our own hands, start stipulating things , words, rehersing lines,imagining results, in short rehersing manipulation. Putting myself first not the the truth.

4) Tend to exxargarrate the outcomes. So bad vibe and emotions will be building up to explode unless other party gave up totally, it's about winning.

5)extreme Negativity........so called be positive....all gone!

After i asked people to pray for me...........i myself queitly pray too despite of the above knwon sypmtons and real emotions,

6)I did have the point of impact. It was no Ammagadeon. My world didnt shatter, no explosion.I listened, as others talk, my neagativity subsiding, of coz I have to choose to let it diminsh rather than fixing on my pre set position.

7)It was more than I expected. It's not about getting what I want. The outcome is not what I expected, very different, but within my heart. It was even better. No where near what I planned for,but this is Better.

everyone is vulnerable. most of the time we are too fearful therefore we try to take control and done the above........1-5, but the turning pt. is when I started asked for support, have a will letting go what I want but truly let things unfold. It was a quiet surprise.

I discover myself more. therefore, I can be better and i m better, isnt that worth it already!

Thx

j

i tell myself, remember when things are bad, sometimes more than bad, it is actually not that bad,sometimes it could actually be good. Sounds crazy eh, unbelievable, but believe it cos life is crazy. Not something we can control.