公告
- "Things are not always what they seem;
The first appearance deceives many.
The intelligence of a few, perceives what has been carefully hidden".
我的BLOG
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Melancolía 2
2009-12-23 11:03PM / 標準BLOG
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wasYNNfnfVE
(I don't own this video, but I can't resist not to post it here; It's so beautifully done.)
“Just as no matter how hard you try to keep it away...
Despair will attack you again and again.
In the same manner hope will return to you.
Again and again...”
“I started crying..
It was the first time in my life that I felt forgiven.
Like I was saved.
Like the frozen snow that's melted by spring,
the tears wouldn't stop.”
-
When You're Gone
2009-10-30 9:02PM / 標準BLOG
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAWbDVhD8A4I don't regret having to leave or shut some people out of my life; those I left in the past should remain in the past.
But this one I truly fear: A passing of a love one.
10 years ago, a friend of mine died of leukemia, she was 16.
Her passing was the first time I felt how hard it is to lose someone.
During junior high in '98, my friend was diagnosed with leukemia & had to stop going to school. None of us knew that she was sick until a few months later. We weren't very close, we only knew each other through common friends, but we got to hang out during summer class in '98, she was actually nice.
I remember going back to school during sophomore in '97, I got sick & was absent for a couple of weeks. Everyone was welcoming me back & saying their well wishes. She & I were on different class sections. As I was walking to my next class, I saw her coming up to me, thought she would just say "welcome back", but I received a very sincere hug from her.
During a visit at a hospital in '98, we accidentally bumped into each other, she was there for her chemotherapy, that's when we start to become good friends. Although, we don't see each other due that she's living in another city for her chemo, she would sometimes call & would update me about her condition.
She recovered in 1999, we even had a celebration with old friends; she went back to school at the city were she currently residing that time, I too transfer to another city. From then on, I only talked to her on the phone twice. First, when we were discussing about her plans on going back to school & my transferring to another city, & second was when she told me she's confined at the hospital but assured me she was already okay.
A few months later, a certain acquaintance told me that she passed away, I didn't believe him. Yet, together with my cousin, sis, & I, we asked our folks to drive us to their home. There was a white flag at their house, we thought that probably another relative died. So there was her Mom. We asked her where she was, she couldn't answer at first, then she said "She finally went home..", I knew what she meant, but I was hoping that it meant differently. She said that it's been 2 weeks since she passed away. That came a shock to me & I was filled with guilt. Why didn't I tried to reach out to her, why did I keep postponing my plans to visit her?
It was our first time to meet her Mom, she said to us while trying to hold back her tears, "She returned to school already, but she suddenly had a relapsed. So, you are the friends that she keeps telling me about, she would often talk about you guys." and she gave us a weak, sad smile.
I'm a cold, introvert little person & don't want to show my emotions. I didn't talk about her death to anyone, didn't receive a hug, or heard any words of comfort.
Prior to her death, I was rather depressed regarding certain issues, her death made it even more difficult.
She was buried at the back of their house, but I didn't go to bid farewell; I just wanted to leave.We told her Mom we'll come back, but up to this day, I still haven't stepped back at their home.
Death is inevitable. I know there's no one on earth is prepared to lose someone they care about.
Yet I see so many people who have move on with their lives after losing a dear one. The Mother of my closest cousin died of cancer. During the 2nd day of my aunt's wake, she was already okay & finally joking around. I know she was hurting inside, but if I were her, I'll probably lock myself up in my room, & will try to avoid talking to anyone.
There are others whom I think can accept death willingly because of their strong faith & positive outlook in life.
I admire these people, because I know to myself that although I may be a loner, realizing a love one's mortality is something I can not handle..
Although I agree that moving on doesn't mean you have forgotten that person. As what they say - the pain never goes away, you only got used to it.
Have a peaceful All Soul's Day. Let's remember our dearly departed & pray they'll have a better journey in the after life.
“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."
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Dark Period Films
2009-10-19 9:03AM / 標準BLOG
REPOSTED from 04/22/2008
I'm a huge fan of dark period films. It makes you see a world that is too GLOOMY & LONESOME.
Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein
“Do you share my Madness?”
This film actually tells us, that it’s not one’s physical appearance that makes him evil, but with how cruel people treat another that they make someone a monster.
"I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe.”
Mary Reilly
This is another beautiful dark period film. I had a crush on John Malkovich.
“Is Evil Stronger than Good”
I love how this film shows how one's sadness can bring out either the better or darker side of men.
The depressing atmosphere, the filthy market & brothel.
And even the seemingly lush mansion of Dr. Jekyll is filled with emptiness.
"I wanted the night you see.. And here it is.."
From Hell
Almost all of us are fans of Johnny Depp. I’ve watched almost all of his movies.
Brilliant acting from “The Libertine”.
Powerful scene don't you think?
But the film I loved most from Depp is “From Hell”. I can watch this over & over again.
“I shall tell you where we are. We’re in the darkest region of the human brain, a radiant abyss where men go to find themselves.”
My favorite scene would probably be the kiss.
Its a very dark film, you can barely hear anyone talking inside the movie house.
I was with my friend & sis, but I felt I was all alone in the movie house. It was just me & the film.
That kiss was a relief from all the tension we were feeling from the movie.
Interview with the vampireThis is the best vampire movie for me (although 'The Lost Boys" was really good - a remembrance from childhood).
Don’t you just wish to be in their shoes? Perfectly beautiful, mysterious, Immortal, & stands out without even trying. Yet despite all these, the truth of the matter is they are monsters & should not be adored.
“Evil is a point of view. God kills indiscriminately, and so shall we.
For no creatures under God are as we are; none so like him as ourselves.”“I have never seen a vision, nor learned a secret, that would damn or save my soul.”
“No one could resist me, not even you.”
I love the opening theme from "Interview with the Vampire", Elliot Goldenthal's 'Libera Me'; 'Libera Me, Domine, de morte aeterna'..
Here's the English translation:
“Deliver me, O Lord, from eternal death
on that awful day
when the heavens and earth shall be shaken
and you shall come to judge the world by fire.
I am seized with fear and trembling
until the trial is at hand and the wrath to come:
when the heavens and earth shall be shaken.”
Another Favorite movie theme is from "Bram Stoker's Dracula", Annie Lennox's 'Love song for A Vampire". Although I terribly love the book, this movie I HATE so much!
“Oh loneliness, oh hopelessness
To search the ends of time
For there is in all the world
No greater love than mine.”
“Let me be the only one
To keep you from the cold
Now the floor of Hell is lain
With stars of brightest gold
They shine for you
They burn for all to see
Come into these arms again
And set this spirit free” -
One at a Time
2009-06-26 10:08PM / 標準BLOG
FAREWELL MICHAEL
"My goal in life is to give to the world what I was lucky to receive...
the ecstasy of divine union through my music and my dance."
I always had this weird feeling that sometimes when I think of something terrible, it becomes reality..
Like thinking what will I feel if one of my fave artists passed away, such as the KING OF POP..
And when an old friend told me that he's coming back home because his Mom's sick, I suddenly had this strange image of them having a funeral.
This day was extremely sad: an old friend whom I haven't seen nor spoken to for so many years lost his mom from cancer & another friend was fretting about a sudden engagement.
But this text message I received from my cousin affected me so much:
K: Breaking News: Legendary Pop Icon Michael Jackson dies at 50. =(Me: Are you sure? is this on the news.
K: Yes it's true, my friend texted me that she saw it on the news. When i heard about it, I suddenly remember back in grade school you were a big MJ fan & thought I should text you & your sis. MJ's songs are really nice...
I really can’t believe MJ has left us. ='(
I grew up listening to his music. Hearing his passing felt like someone very dear & close to me died.
Still don't know much about the deatils of his death.
I’m trying not to watch the news, it hurts so much seeing all these headlines of his demise.. *sobs*
I’m silently crying right now.. And yes, I am listening to his songs while writing this, I feel extremely sad, knowing he’s no longer with us.. ='(
Hearing his songs gives me goosebumps knowing that never will we ever see him sing these songs to us again..
I will miss him truly...
“Even though the pain and heartache
Seems to follow me wherever I go
Though I try and try to hide my feelings
They always seem to show
Then you try to say you're leaving me
And I always have to say no...
Tell me why is it so
That I Never Can Say Goodbye…”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQLOvd1TVuI
He was one of my sources of inspiration to be a good person. ='(“You'll remember the love you found here
You'll remember me somehow
Though you don't need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You'll remember one day . . ."
-
Can you hear their cries?
2009-01-15 10:08PM / 標準BLOG
"In my dream children sing a song of love for every boy and girl
The sky is blue and fields are green and laughter is the language of the world
Then I wake and all I see is a world full of people in need."
"Tell me why, does it have to be like this?
Is there something I have missed? cos I don't understand.
When so many need somebody we don't give a helping hand."
"Everyday I ask myself what will I have to do to be a man?
Do I have to stand and fight to prove to everybody who I am?
Is that what my life is for to waste in a world full of war?"
“Tell me why (why, do we never learn?)
(Why do we pass the blame?)
WHY DOES IT NEVER END?”
I’m the type of person who doesn’t cry easily, but seeing these photos of what is currently the situation in Gaza, no matter how I tried destructing myself, I can’t help but get emotional.
If just seeing this on the news & on the internet disheartens me, how much more are those who are actually witnessing these horrors!
What if I was one of them, or if the dead children were my own? What if this happen in our own country?
Steal away our lives, our loved ones & our homes! I just can’t fully imagine how much sufferings they are going through! It’s heart breaking! :'(
Let’s pray for the innocent victims, to those who died in this war & to those still fighting to survive.
And hope at least that this will be over soon…
I know, with this kind of situation, we can’t help but feel helpless.
What can we do to stop these kind or wars? I have no idea.
But I don’t want to ignore this & pretend that none of this is happening.
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- "I am a little world made cunningly of elements, and an angelic sprite." ...
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