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  • \"to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. I am loyal and constant in my love for travel\" - Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

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  • what's love?

    2007-06-24 11:41AM / 標準BLOG / 會員可以看

    i guess i'm pretty new to this thing called love,
    love swept me off my feet and i fell in love.

    then love became more complicated.

    do i really know this person whom i thought i loved?

    what IS love?

    someone once told me that love is when you'd actually die for that person.

    is the feeling of obliged to love someone, called LOVE?

    can i possibly spend the rest of my life with this person whom i'd TRY to love, just because he has done so much for me and I don't think i should break his heart even though i don't know if i still 'love' him anymore?

    he could be a good companion, but i'm loving him out of guilt, just because he is so much more in love with me than i am with him, and he has done so much for me. coming on this trip is like a guilt trip for me.

    it takes a lot of courage to break someone's heart and be hurt at the same time too. i just don't know how much longer i should drag this, because maybe i don't love him anymore, and i'm just trying to hang on to this because of the guilt in me.

    2 totally different people, can they really be together? is that true love?

    there's not much future to speak of (him being in the US marines for the next 4 years and me moving on with my own life, meaning we only get to see each other maybe only twice a year),
    i don't know if i can see myself with him for the rest of my life, yet i feel OBLIGED to keep on loving him, or TRY loving him.

    just because he has done so much for me, and i'm like his everything, because he doesn't have much of a family to begin with (which is probably why he wants so much of a family of his own, with me).

    for me, i have nothing to lose, 'cos i have my family whom i'm so close with, that they come in first priority before him. and i have friends who are here with me.

    but to him, i'm his everything. and i think it'd just KILL him if i ever leave him.

    i'm not ready to let go yet, just because he is the only one at the moment, but how can i let go of someone who loves me so much?

    can love GROW over time?

    can i actually TRY to love him more? or am i forcing myself to?

    it is so heart-wrenching to think about this.

    i've never fallen in love and then get so confused about love, maybe i'm just not ready for all these. maybe i just don't know HOW to love a person.

    maybe,

    i just don't know what love is anymore.

    what's love?

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