I'm single, so what?!

Whenever they ask me “when are you going to see yourself being married?” I answer them wittily with “I can’t even picture out who my future groom will be & you’re asking me that already?”

Sure, seeing happy couples make me smile, & watching romantic movies make me daydream on what it's like to be in love, but then, in reality, I can’t imagine myself being married. Why? Perhaps I’m just so used & contented w/ my life being single. I've never been into a relationship.. ever! (Okay, that’s a revelation). I turned down every guy who will propose his love for me, telling him that he’s just infatuating ‘coz I know & feel w/ certainty that we’re not meant to be. And yes, I’m always right about that. Some of them are already happily married. I also consider the thought that it'll be unfair for them if I wasted their time & effort for nothing..

Sometimes I wonder if I were only a Christian/Catholic, I would have entered the convent long ago. I’ll even be more satisfied w/ my life serving God with the rest of the single women (nuns), than living a normal life & not married. it's kinda annoying when some people, even your parents may be, will keep on guessing when you’re going to tie the knot. Some people will even wonder why you’re not married yet, sympathize on you that soon you’ll be next, & even suggest on matching you up. Argh!

As you can see, I don’t like being dictated, if one day (God forbids!) some of my relatives or friends will match me up w/ some guy, even if he’s almost perfect, I would never approve of it, not unless he’s the one who has the intention to know me.

Maybe I’m happy living this way. I know I’m a hard person to live with, I got my mood swings, temper, & I always want to have my own privacy & time, that I think I wouldn’t be able to adjust in a life w/ someone whom I’m going to live with for a lifetime w/ all my quirkiest attitude.. (do you think he'll ever keep up w/ me if even in the middle of the night I'll wake him up just to kill a cockroach?)

There are those who picture themselves in the future being married w/ kids, but me? I see myself not married but having hundreds of children! Well, I have this wildest dream of having or volunteering in an orphanage or foundation for kids.

Funny thought that I have is that I don’t w break the sequence of status within my two closest friends & me. One married w/ a 2 - year old daughter, my best friend who got married this year, & I, the single one. Haha.  

Am I planning to live as a spinster forever? well, maybe yes. however, I’m not closing my door on the possibility of having someone, & as the song goes “when I fall in love it will be forever, or I’ll never fall in love”.