Kung Fu Panda? Why Don't They Call It...

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Kung Fu Panda? Why Don't They Call It...
2008-05-27 10:36AM / 標準BLOG / 會員可以看
7個評論

Dear Asia: F@#$ You

Because let's face it; they all know martial arts.

And martial arts is all they know.

Or so Hollywood would have us think.

Maybe I'm an oversensitive person (though many would disagree), but I found this poster, being put up all over the Shaw Cinema in Singapore, kind of offensive. Maybe because we don't see the same thing in the US; where's the poster for Couch Potato Bald Eagle?

Maybe I was torked because out of all 8 screens in that cineplex, a movie from the same side of the planet was only being shown on one screen. And it was the smallest of the eight.

Luckily for me, my friend had no interest in any of the other films. I didn't want to see any of them anyway. I had already seen Chocolate, but it was great seeing it again.

The poster was great too; apparently Quentin Tarantino wrote the copy:

The 'shut off your phone' PSA before the film was provided by Dreamworks; the Kung Fu Panda (voiced by Jack Black) telling us to be respectful to the movie and the audience and shut off the phones.

This animated Orientalist Hollywood abortion talking about respect, in a movie theater in Singapore no less, turned my stomach.

Do as they say, not as they do. For they do what they say we must not.

The globalization of Hollywood is a very interesting topic, especially when you see it from the receiving end. Am I the only one struck by the incongruity of a huge advertising campaign for Sex in the City... in Singapore?

Am I the only one who wonders why, in two-thousand-effing-eight, we get stuff like The Forbidden Kingdom and Kung Fu Panda that shows us Hollywood (and to a great extent its audience) has not changed it's perception nor portrayal of Asia one iota?

And guess what song is used in Kung Fu Panda?

What song gets used in EVERY f@#$ing Hollywood movie about martial arts?

Don't make me say it.

Carl Douglas is the anti-Christ...

Am I the only one who notices the clumsy, ham-fisted machinations used to confine ethnicities for some and refuse its assignment to others? How come some people are forced to be one way, and others are free to be any way they choose (which is usually the way the other people are being)?

You know a good litmus test for this kind of thing? The relationship between ethnicity and narrative. Will Smith isn't Black; he's green, as in money. He's popular enough that he need not take part in films in which his ethnicity has any function or role in the plot. He gets to be a person, not a Black person.

If a character's ethnicity can remain irrelevant to the plot, that is a good thing. Because white people's ethnic irrelevance is so often intrinsic to the plot. Or should I say the dismissal of their ethnicity is relevant; Forbidden Kingdom, Kill Bill, The Last Samurai, Bulletproof Monk, etc., etc., f@#$ing etc.

Wouldn't it be great to see a movie where Chinese people were just characters and not 'Chinese' characters? Because the reverse is rarely if ever true; White people always get some kind of Ethnicity Pass; "We're all the same on the inside" - The Forbidden Kingdom.

If we're all the same, why don't we all get portrayed the same way in movies? Why don't we all get to be 'human' beings with the freedom of being whoever and whatever we want?

Why doesn't Hong Kong make a movie where Jackie Chan comes to the US, decides to play hockey because it looks fun, and 6 months later wins the Stanley Cup and the MVP?

When I tell people I love Hong Kong movies, they frequently (always in the US) ask if I study martial arts; they assume a kind of Iron Monkey see, Iron Monkey do. I use that pun intentionally, because I know someone who was in that movie, and she offered to teach me Tai Chi. I declined, because I refuse to indulge in that particular 'tradition'; I don't want any part of my life to be capable of being represented by a Jean Claude Van Damme movie, much less Ralph Macchio.

The other question they ask is if I have an Asian girlfriend.

I know many of you will find this shocking, but my charming, witty, easygoing nature is apparently not winsome (!) enough to attract a woman of any ethnicity...

Yes, I'm a white guy who loves Hong Kong movies. But that doesn't mean I'm stocking up on silk outfits or raven-haired companions. Sorry to disappoint you.

Then again, I'm not.

The only thing worse than living under the shadow of Hollywood's ongoing global domination is being inextricably linked to it by virtue of my membership in national and cultural groups whose behavīors in and around these matters is, to be kind, deserving of critical attention.

But I'm white; I thought I could do and be whatever I wanted. How dare you (supposedly) docile and welcoming people try to pigeonhole me because of my ethnicity! Haven't you seen The Last Samurai? Will I have to kick your ass?

Kung Fu slipper's on the other foot now, ain't it, Karate Kid?

I understand why people ask me if I practice martial arts and have an Asian girlfriend. I accept it. It ain't like I have a choice. And a lot of my good friends fit those descrīptions. I don't think that makes them bad people. It's just not me.

The saddest part about this is that I will have to take Vickie, my 9-year old movie-going partner, to see Kung Fu Panda. She's a very bright little kid. Another few years of this and she'll start asking me about these things. What the hell am I supposed to say?

I wish someone would make a martial arts version of The Great White Hype. Hardly a cinematic classic, but it makes its point, and I would love to see it redone in Hong Kong.

I would laugh myself silly.

And I would take Vickie to see it at least four times.

In a perfect world, anybody could be anyone in movies.

Especially movies made by a country that constantly tells its citizens (and Vickie is one of them) that they can be whoever they want to be.

If Vickie grows up to be an actress in Hong Kong, she can play anybody.

If she goes to Hollywood, she can play a mail order bride, a prostitute, an oppressed victim of criminals or communists, or some 'inscrutable' Dragon Lady.

End of list.

Land of the free and home of the brave?

BLOG評論 (7)

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casara
留言於2008-05-29 9:48AM [举报]

I dont need to see the light.. I just try to listento others. and take into consideration what htier saying.. I guess that would be respect, sorta.. But, even though some of that i havnt seen first hand, i do completly agree with you..

whitebison, i have never seen one in a thai film.. lol.. the film i was talking about was more like an interview.. ahaha.. it was really comical, you would have laughed!.. but she was speaking the truth.. we as a society can be real insentive to the feelings of others, because we tend to be soo closed minded and think inside the box.. and for us to treat others as equals right away, i personally dont think that will ever be achieved.. there will always be those barriers.. but i am with you guys all the way.. in fact, i cant recall any moments, but im sure i have committed some of those acts as well.. but im trying to make the difference from hearing others, and learning from them...

*sry i didnt get to you sooner.. i just discovered this tab thingy, with recent entries.. haha.. i just went through 50 people.. including you.. my bad..
AlbertV
留言於2008-05-28 9:16PM [举报]

I don't get Hollywood sometimes...I think it's been too long that we had the Asian stereotypes. Even back in the classic cinema, first they had European born actors play Asians, like Warner Oland as Charlie Chan and Nils Asther as the titled character in The Bitter Tea of General Yen. Then,m we have Anna May Wong, one of the first Asian-American actresses in Hollywood, but she gets stereotyped as a "dragon lady" or a "slave" of sorts.

I remember seeing an episode of the 90's NBC series California Dreams and there was a Chinese girl on the show who was in the titular band. Their manager asked her if she knew kung fu because she was originally from Hong Kong. She said she did but she ended up teaching him the hokey pokey to prove that all Chinese do not know martial arts.

When Asian stars comes here, a majority is this reaction: "Wow, you're Chinese., Yes we'll have you star in a kung fu movie". I find it appalling sometimes because with my experiences in Hong Kong films, it is much more than action. I used to be the type who thought that it was mostly martial arts, but let's just say since my days in college, I have seen the light!!!

I admit, I get immersed in Asian culture sometimes, especially on Chinese New Year. We have a small movie HK movie marathon (all genres) and we cook Chinese food, instead of take out. :)

Anyway, I hope someday, the Asian stereotype will come to an end here in the U.S. If I saw the light, so can others.
Sean Tierney
留言於2008-05-27 12:06PM

Yes, Peachey, that's the song.

Dammit.
Sean Tierney
留言於2008-05-27 12:03PM

Yellow fever? I think I have white allergies.

No wonder I make myself sick.
Sean Tierney
留言於2008-05-27 12:02PM

The brother dying first has abated somewhat. Ice Cube used to stipulate that he wasn't the first character to die.

Trannies in Thai films are an interesting phenomenon, simply because I can never be sure if they're there as a matter of fact or as a caricature.
casara
留言於2008-05-27 11:20AM [举报]

Haha.. I understand what you mean. I recently saw a 10 min. video on transexuals... This woman who was talking in it  was basically voicing the same thing..  but about transexuals.

You write blogs very  well.. If it makes you feel any better, over in Canada, they show movies all the time.. Where these characters are like regular people. And arent sent on a journey to save the world while going through extensive, over the hook, unrealistic fight scenes... Of which you talk about..lol.. I cant recall the names, but their normal stories.. Hardships with love and what not.. or showing family issues, and how their resolved in the end. But those are normally the indie movies.. the ones that dont recognized as well as the rest of them... But I understand what your talking about.  And I agree thats its not very fair at all.. And I can see how you can get very frustrated over it....

OH!!- just something i wanna add.. I totally hate it when Hollywood does this.. But y does the black guy die first?!?! They are my favorite characters, and the best ones!!!..  Its not fair.. I think its stupid...Ugh!
peachey
留言於2008-05-27 11:05AM [举报]

If Vickie asks about stereotypes, why can't you give her the straight answer? Bc people are used to seeing those stereotypes (which doesn't mean it's ok). Bc the filmmakers don't want to upset what people already think they know (bc they need to recoup their filmmaking costs, pay the actors' salaries, design those ugly posters, pay for the martial arts choreographers and stunt people, etc.). Bc filmmakers aren't willing to show Asians as real individuals. Bc there are too many white people in suits calling the shots in Hollywood. She shouldn't have a problem though bc, being in HK, she will get plenty of taste for the locally-made (Asia) films where the actors are predominantly Asian. It's here in the U.S. where there's nothing but Hollywood dribble that are marketed so strongly that we are exposed to so little of what exists outside of Hollywood film studios. I don't think she'd ask the types of questions she'd ask if she were a resident of the States.

I'm one of those on AnD who asked if you knew martial arts or if you had an Asian gf ( I know you remember that but your readers may as well know what I am impertinent enough to ask). It just seems a white guy somewhat interested in Asian culture (correction: you're interested in HK films....gotcha...) would also take up the personification of that culture. I've met many a yellow-fevered male and I didn't get what fascinated them so.

lithmus. Chemistry.

In Jackie's movie of winning the Stanley Cup, you know they'd have him doing some martial-arty thing to win it! He's Asian!! lol

"Everybody's kung-fu fighting...." Is that the song?