I’ve been a lot moody
and depressed, if anything I allowed myself to drop to a “safe” level of dark,
somber and negative mindset simply because I allowed my surroundings, situation
and the so-called “friends” consume my productive, positive and pro-active side
of me without realizing that these people are only capable of doing just that.
They feed off the
demise of another and like vultures take, grab, step and hinder that person;
stripping them away from any chance of possibility or future prospect simply
out of pure envy, jealousy and for the most part lazy, illogical and
disturbingly insecure.
I had a great day
yesterday – for once something shot through me like a thunderbolt; unleashing a
world of non-stop epiphanies, one after the other until I came home exhausted
from the whole day of enlightenment to wake up a few hours ago all ready to be
the usual “go-getter” self.
I thought I’d finally
put down in words and in blog the mental mindset that has aided me to find it within myself to stand up again.
Over the past few
months, whilst I slowly watched the destruction and downward spiral of myself
(albeit it allowing it as well to happen) I turned a lot to theories and inner
reflection (not to mention a lot of numerology [by the way I have the
most amazing and accurate numerology report reading software so if you want
yours just email me sky at skytao.com], Buddhism, self-help and silence) and
one of the main things that really aided me in being able to accept what was
happening to me at present was this:
Sky, this is a time when you have an
opportunity to make great progress on the spiritual plane. And that is where your focus needs to
be.
Your spiritual identity is expanding,
and one of the side effects of this development is that you will most likely
feel a strong urge to make major changes on the more practical, material plane;
the kind of changes that probably do not make a lot of sense to other people. That is fine.
In fact, that is exactly what you can expect to happen. It’s as if you are driven to change your life
from the ground up. While you must
maintain common sense and perspective, this inner urge to change is exactly
what you need.
The changes we are talking about here,
Sky, may not be completely painless. You
should be prepared to defend your reasoning.
Some people you are emotionally close to will try to stop you and, if
that doesn’t work, may blame you for their unhappiness.
Difficult as that may be, Sky, you can’t
afford to let yourself be tied down. At
the same time, you should move cautiously.
Don’t be impulsive. Take your
time. But don’t be afraid to make the necessary
changes. You will be tearing down your
tower, in order to build a bigger one.
This is a natural process and part of your personal spiritual development. When all is said and done, you will not
regret the changes you make during this time.
This is a time of spiritual
transformation. The key ingredients for this period are
self examination, faith, and confidence.
That part in bold really said it all and so
I’ve managed to somewhat still keep a sense of self that I was determined not
to let or more so that I fought very
hard not to actually break me inside.
Which led me to start researching on this
ideology of myself (yeah yeah I know very narcissistic of me recently but hey
when you have TransUnion ripping through your personal data and stating on
paper that you’re male; you can hardly blame me for trying to identify myself
with… myself!) and I came across this
idea of being somewhat of a Wounded Healer.
Carl Jung theory and it’s from this that I
have been able to “bounce” back so to speak or as a close friend said to me… (and yes I am quoting you you know who you are when I say this!) “walk into a pile of shit
and come out of it smelling like flowers”.
"The artist is not a person endowed with free will who
seeks his own ends, but one who allows art to realize its purposes through him.
As a human being he may have moods and a will and personal aims, but as an
artist he is "man" in a higher sense - he is "collective
man," a vehicle and moulder of the unconscious psychic life of
mankind." (from 'Psychology
and Literature', 1930)
I’m not going to go into too much detail about the theory
but basically (I laugh now when I think back at how everything I read and do somehow
manages to connect to each other) TransUnion really messed up my personal data
making it TransPersonal (and believe
it or not this is actually a keyword to Jungian’s wounded healer theory!!!) to
which I have done my bit and announced, blogged, spoken, put forth whatever
makes my case TransInternational – and
now I am going to let things unfold as and when they will because I’m so TransOverIt and in my mind I’ve TransOverDoneIt.
Fingers crossed over the next few weeks TransUnion can just
TransFER and then all will be happy happy happy and I can go back to building
my brand new bigger tower!!!


