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  • differences

    2008-06-12 12:57AM / 標準BLOG / experiences / 會員可以看
    18個評論

    there are so many differences between different cultures, beliefs, religion, etc... I guess that's what makes it everyone unique?

    last week was talking with the guy at the bowling alley (H). H's wife J has been taking care of her mom for the past several years since the mom has been on a wheel chair and needs help from other people. H was telling us that they finally sent the mom to J's sister so that she can take care of the mom. H was saying, he got to a point where he was angry at J's family for the lack of care to their mother and said that his son had to lose 3 summers to help take care of grandma. I was shocked to be honest!! he basically implied that his son shouldn't be involved and it was unfair for his son to lose 3 summers to take care of grandma? It is J's mom and their family to take care of their sick mom. (I'm not saying that H is a bad person, he's a great person, probably just different culture, different views) but I was shocked!!

    and last night I saw on the news that talked about the mother who was shot in San Francisco and her funeral was yesterday. At the funeral, people were wearing very colorful clothes and even tops with no sleeves and such... but I always thought that at funerals, we're supposed to dress appropriately (black and white and no dresses or sleeveless tops)

    and some weekend ago, there was a memorial held for a guy that passed at my mom's work. The memorial was held in Napa with wine tasting as a celebration of death that's something I never really understood... I just don't like the sound of it, "Celebration of Death" (yea sometimes, it is better for the person suffering, but I still wouldn't call it a celebration)

BLOG評論 (18)

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  • amy_sycheng
    amy_sycheng
    留言於2008-06-13 5:03PM [举报]
    Yes, there's lots of weird people out there.  Probably different grow-up background makes them weird!
  • Blueamrub
    Blueamrub
    留言於2008-06-13 3:26AM [举报]
    yes, i've heard of the term b4. i rather have a happy funeral than one where everyone's crying.... oh and i'm assuming, J's side of family is not offering much help. maybe tat's why H is complaining about it.
    <><
  • lou
    lou
    留言於2008-06-13 3:25AM [举报]
    I can certainly emphasize H’s situation.   It sounds like J has other siblings who are not participating in helping their mother.  While other siblings are enjoying their normal life, H, J and their son have not had summer vacation for three years.   

    “Celebration of Death” is a very popular send off for the decreased in Western countries.  Chinese also refer decreased whose age is 80 and up as “happy funeral”.  

    One of my Chinese co-workers (age 32) died of dehydration in Grand Canyon.  Everyone was devastated of her sudden death.  Parents and family members were sobbing aloud at the funeral.  A co-worker showed up with a bright red outfit and told everyone that she is dressed to “celebration of death”.  How inconsiderate can one be?
  • janechu
    janechu
    留言於2008-06-13 12:05AM
    Thanks to everyone for your responses... you all have a point and I will try to see things differently now. =) Thank You!!~
  • JRS
    JRS
    留言於2008-06-12 5:24PM [举报]
    I think they're suppose to call it the "Celebration of Life."  My mom wants one of those because she doesn't like funerals and mourning.  She wants people to party like mad!  I agree...we may miss the person who passed but it's a better tribute to them to be thankful that they were a part of our lives.
  • JoanneSanderson
    JoanneSanderson
    留言於2008-06-12 5:15PM [举报]
    I think in the 'Celebration of death' it's because many people find it easier and in religion a lot see it as the ultimate reward, because they see it as a stepping stone to eternal life. We chose to wear colours at my father's funeral because that's what he asked, he saw death as another stepping stone in life and he wanted us to celebrate the  good life that he'd had rather than mourn it. He had 'Spirit in the Sky' as his song, which was comical enough...He wanted 'Bat out of hell' but I wasn't prepared to see the congregation faint!

    As for H, I can understand his situation, but it's not something I could do, although saying that, that is the reason why I always agreed to look after my family, because my sister has young kids and caring for my father would of restricted their time.
  • oki182
    oki182
    留言於2008-06-12 11:28AM [举报]
    Irish drink til they're sloppy drunk when someone dies.  I suppose it's the thought of having people happy when you die.
  • RenRen
    RenRen
    留言於2008-06-12 9:27AM [举报]
    Cultural differences probably is a factor in how people deal with death. As for the elderly, I think that has a lot to do with how one is brought up and the elderly person themselves. Excuse H, but I think from a parent's point of view, they want their kids to have fun and enjoy their childhood. It really just depends..
  • Jaine
    Jaine
    留言於2008-06-12 6:12AM [举报]
    sometimes it also comes down to an individual thing - the person whose funeral it was may have left instructions for every one to wear colours and have a good time. My grandmother never liked black clothes (thing it a dull and drab colour) and I didn't wear black to her funeral.   Sometimes it's culture and sometimes it's just individual (may individual choice at how you want your funeral to go is cultural?).

    I'm of Irish descent so we had a NZ 'wake' after my Grandmother's funeral at my Uncles house.  I get the party thing totally.   Maori also have a party at the end of a tangi - so it's not just a "western" thing.
  • iggypuffygirl
    iggypuffygirl
    留言於2008-06-12 5:33AM [举报]
    hmm.. I think both cultural differences and how we grow up dictate the way we deal with things like caring for the elderly and death...
  • butter
    butter
    留言於2008-06-12 4:41AM [举报]
    Yes cultural differences do dictate a different take on things and how to handle the passing of life and familial obligations are probably two the biggest.
  • Dreamy
    Dreamy
    留言於2008-06-12 3:31AM [举报]
    very interesting.. i think i've heard of the celeration before........
  • Happybunny
    Happybunny
    留言於2008-06-12 2:17AM [举报]
    Sometimes people do ask in advance how they like their funeral to be, such as no flowers at all, no one should cry etc. But no I don't like the sound of celebration of death either. It's a sad event loosing a friend or relative.
  • peachey
    peachey
    留言於2008-06-12 1:43AM [举报]
    Depends on what you believe happens in the afterlife. You know there are some religions (or just people) who believe that there's a better life after death. And I'd rather focus on that possibility than on the death itself. Do you know what I mean? Like, 'look on the bright side.'

    You can wear dresses to funerals. Nothing resembling a flamingo dancer or hooker-short. Something understated and hopefully conservative.

    Are you sure H wasn't bitching that J's family hadn't lent a hand in taking care of mom, instead of forcing another member of J's family to do it? I think that's what he musta been complaining about. That the other members aren't contributing. Where have I heard THAT before?? The son will be more compassionate for what he's done.
  • casara
    casara
    留言於2008-06-12 1:20AM [举报]
    I would like to be cremated differently, but its illegal..So Ill go with the usual one...

    I want people to drink and have fun at my death... and crank, 'Highway To Hell'...

    It sounds messed.. But to me, theres no point in crying over my passing.. Ill be gone, so be it.. I want people to think of all the good times, and pass on all the good qualities I shared with them...

    Many cultures do hold on to traditions... But traditions are eventually lost, and new ones are born.. I hear stories like that here and there... And totally shocks people everyday..
  • musicnote
    musicnote
    留言於2008-06-12 1:09AM [举报]
    Differences can be shocking from one person to the next.
  • unwoundclock
    unwoundclock
    留言於2008-06-12 1:08AM [举报]
    maybe that mother wanted a flowery funeral.. and wanted a dress code where its not black and grim... idk..

    i remember watching a segment of this one SATC ep where this famous designer died and all the people attending the funeral with the designers clothes-which were all flowery and colorful..
  • carmellarose
    carmellarose
    留言於2008-06-12 1:06AM [举报]
    Many people now request that their funerals are not traditional full of mourning and crying.....because that's hurtful to them...So there has been a new trend to celebrate the life of that person....and from my perspective they're not DEAD in the sense of ceasing to exist, they will go through the cycle and be reborn....
    They don't want to see their loved ones in pain, so yes a celebration...looking at the positive side of things..

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