Effects of Racism in the Family

So I've 2 blogs I haven't published, all pretaining to the same subject.

Racism

First off, if you guys don't know, Ryan is caucasian, mix of a little of everything, polish, native american, german, etc....but mostly chinese people call them "whitie". This subject hits me hard and really deep too because my parents don't know I'm with Ryan. They know of him as a friend of mine which I try to bring him in to our conversations and make him look good and hope they will accept him. But no, not really. All because he's caucasian.

There's this other website, all asian forum I go to. They never speak well for the asian girls who chose to be with a "whitie". Actually I shouldn't care what they say right? But Ry and I on Friday went to a Chinese bakery, I was retrieving roast food goods to go back home to my parents, and when we walked out the door, an old asian couple was gawking at us. I didn't notice, but it did bother Ryan.

When he told me, I was deeply bothered. I don't see why people dislike the fact that I'm happy to be with a guy. No matter what race he is. It shouldn't matter. Some would say I'm back stabbing my own heritage or kind, etc...I couldn't seriously give a crap about that. I wasn't born in China, nor raised in a chinese community at all. I was born in America, in the boonies where alot of hispanics are. Do I retain my chinese culture? Sure I do, all in which my parents have raised me with! But does being happy with someone of a different race really qualify as back stabbing your own kind? I highly doubt it.

I shouldn't care right? Well think about it from my point of view, my parents. "White people will only take advantage of you" says mom, "they will go crazy on you and take advantage of you, if not now, then later." That was a response she gave me. Dad said for me to be extra careful because they are dangerous. I'm sorry, but I've told them so many good things about Ry, yet they can't accept the fact that he is caucasian. The first thing they always ask me is he/she white? No matter how good they treat me, they are always saying bad things just because of their race. If I say he's asian, they'll be "so when are you two getting married?" type of thing...

My big sister and I agree that our parents brought us up to not be racist or haters of any kind of race. Yet now it's a complete different story when it comes to our future with a partner. Mom says "I want to have all my grandchildren to be 100% chinese."

My middle sis and I explained to her that the chinese people in Fresno will not associate themselves with other chinese people who do not speak their language. (based on actual experience) Mostly just mandarian speakers. There are 2 chinese male cantonese speakers, but uh...I'm not a pedofile.

Mom says, "I don't expect the best for the both of you anymore".  What does race have anything to do with happiness?

Exactly NOTHING!

Sterotypes and generalizations of any race is bad. It's just stupid. Even for young people, alot of them think it's better to be with your own kind. Ya, it's called perference but others perfer to call it asian pride. I'm sorry...uh...what does pride have anything to do with overall happiness with someone? This is called ignorance and arrogance. They can't tell the difference and too stubborn to realize what's more important in life.

Yes you are asian, everyone can SEE that. Do you really need to make such a HUGE deal out of being an asian person? If you're making such a big deal out of asian pride, I do wonder. Are you over compensating for something?

To me, a person is a person. We are all human on the inside. Everyone is capable of being bad and doing criminal acts of any kind or acting out of kindness with heart put into it. It doesn't matter what race you are. I don't know why people are so blind and just plain dumb.

Why can't you be happy for people who have found what they want in life, instead be bitter about it? It hurts me that I'm caught in between and I'm being viticmized by my own kind for my choice. It hurts even more when my parents aren't accepting the fact that I'm happy with someone that isn't chinese but caucasian.

Whatever they say, I will not leave him. He brings me so much happiness and joy to life vs before I didn't know him. I'm actually happy for once in a lifetime, just not happy how the world is mostly blinded by racism.